|
 Roosevelt
assured a depression-crippled nation, “The only thing we have to
fear is fear itself.” Now, decades later, the study of “Positive
Psychology” has shown us that these famous quotes are not only
timeless, they are connected.
In his book, What Happy People Know, Dan Baker, Ph.D., reveals that
fear is the mortal enemy of happiness. He explains humans have only
two primal emotions: love and fear. According to Baker, “Fear impels
us to survive, and love enables us to thrive.” Unfortunately, in a
“fight or flight” world, it’s impossible to focus on the joy of your
accomplishments or love from those around you. It is clear that fear
must be overcome.
Why We Fear
Overcoming is not an easy task, as fear is a hard-wired evolutionary
response. As Baker points out, fear is an impulse rooted in the
simplest of all brain parts, the “reptilian” brain stem. The ability
to fear evolved over 100 million years ago! What separates our fears
from those of a lizard is that our fears are generally coupled with
emotion. This coupling takes place in the amygdala, or “mammalian
brain.” The amygdala is the basic home of memory. It is precisely
why some adults never outgrow their childhood fears. The amygdala
stores them for easy recall. The mammalian brain also triggers the
physical side of fear. It signals the release of stress hormones in
the brain, which, in turn, raise blood pressure and heart rate and
cause queasiness and the jitters. At one point, this three part fear
response was what kept humans alive. First, the danger would
approach, the human would recognize it as such, and then the brain
would kick the human into “high gear.” Nowadays, however, the root
of our fears are rarely physical dangers. There are very few hungry
lions in our midst. So why do we have the same type of response
What We Fear
Baker divides all modern fear in two categories, the “fear of not
having enough” and the “fear of not being enough.” At the root of
both fears is the myth of scarcity. Dr. Michael Beckwith, featured
in the recent self-help phenomenon The Secret, attributes all human
suffering to the idea that there is not enough good to go around.
Many people believe there is not enough money, not enough love, not
enough oxygen for everyone. Every day, therefore, is a struggle.
When we don’t get what we want, we blame some flaw in ourselves, “If
only I were smarter, I would make more money. If only I were cuter,
somebody might love me.” This constant self-berating causes a deep
sadness in many of us which triggers a terrible cycle. We begin to
feel we are unworthy of happiness. Because we are sad, we cling to
the few happinesses we already have. Because we feel unworthy, we
fear the loss of these joys. These fears trigger negative actions.
Believers of the law of attraction and quantum physics will assure
you “what you focus on expands.” Soon you’ve created a
self-fulfilling prophecy. Imagined loss reaps real loss. Happiness
becomes something we futilely chase for instead of something we
readily enjoy!
Fighting Fear with Gratitude
Baker assures us that the antidote of fear is gratitude. Instead of
dwelling on what we don’t have and/or what we have to lose, we need
to focus on what we do have. This will gradually create a shift in
perspective that will reap large rewards. In his book Happier,
Harvard Professor Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D. recommends keeping a
gratitude journal. He cites a study by Robert Emmons and Michael
McCullough that found that people who wrote down five reasons to be
grateful daily experienced better physical and mental well-being.
Most psychiatrists will tell you that overcoming fear is a gradual
process, best started in small doses. You can’t get much smaller
than five things per day! Evolution has set this up as a fail-safe
plan. All appreciation is based on love, and love is a product of
the neo-cortex, the most evolved brain part. The reptilian fear
doesn’t stand a chance! Start focusing on what you appreciate today,
and a brighter, happier tomorrow is yours.
Mother always said to lead by example, so I will start my gratitude
list for you.
1) I am grateful I have discovered the key to happiness.
2) I am grateful you read this article.
Kathleen Passinisi, PT, CSP, CPAE
is an internationally recognized transformational speaker,
therapeutic humor expert, healthcare professional and author.
Copyright © 2008 by Kathleen Passanisi. All Rights Reserved.
|
